Ritual for Coming Back
Moments in Time over the Last Three Months
A kiss. Something so beautiful and yet it was goodbye. Endings are sometimes really fucking good.
A lunch that touched me. He asked what I need to help me write and said he wanted to help. That was all I needed in order to feel seen.
Coffee with strangers. Waterside companionship with locals to help me remember what it is like to have community.
A long drive with nothing to think about. Endless sunny days spent driving and listening to classical music. No more modern music. No more digital obsession. It’s going to be a summer of classical music, dedicated to studying the art of magic.
I need to stop thinking about Ritual Coaching and Rituals for a while. My journey has needed the silence of anything to do with anything. I needed, and experienced, days of resting, cooking, walks with my dog and sitting by the water; to find myself again, to rest and not think about my future, to try new ways of eating, lunches with friends, to clean and to make beautiful my living space. I have needed to remember that I enjoy the world outside of my former corporate life. I have needed to remember what it was like to live without worry. But I also needed to struggle, and to toss and turn, and to remember what it was like to fall in love, and what it was like to be rejected. As painful as it was, I needed to remember what it felt like to be 15 again, and then to hear the truth about my future. Most of all, I needed silence to process it all and to embrace life.
I want you all to know that I think of you in these moments. I am fighting to return and find my voice in the midst of all of these experiences. I know I am out of the worst of it but I still have a ways to go to be back to where I once was. The world is changing and me with it. My body is changing. A metamorphosis is going on happening and I’m not sure what the outcome will be. With each lesson, when I think I can no longer go on, something propels me forward. We humans are much stronger than we think we are. We just need some big lessons to open our hearts.
I am slowly coming back. It will be a summer of classical music, silence, sunshine and homemade food. I have determined that this year is all about my health. This means I can’t worry about writing a Ritual each week, I need to focus on being present, and spend my days in nature. I need to cook my own meals. I need to feel myself inside my body, and dream without becoming exhausted just from the dreams. I need to heal my body, mind and spirit.
It also means my year is going to include in-person connections, and being able to be myself in all situations. I want to hear from you because I am planning to leave the house to see you and hold space for you. I want to travel to you, see you in your elements and experience life from a different angle. I want to bring magic on the road with me. I want to meet all of you and see the work you are doing, and the magic you are creating
A Ritual for Coming Back
Give yourself permission to do whatever it is you need. This is a soul need, it is the reason why you are here. Turn the music up. Eat watermelon in your undies in your kitchen one night this summer. Take that trip you have always wanted. Embrace the creative block that has hung over your head for the last 6 months. Allow yourself to fall in love. Allow yourself to leave a relationship. Allow yourself to start enjoying your own company. Time is an illusion. We aren’t too young or too old. I believe we are moving toward a culture that values us. Embrace who you are and be ready for change; that is stay brave and be flexible. We need to see each other for the creative and beautiful souls we are.
I will be writing Rituals when I can. I will be posting on Instagram as much as I can. I will be getting out of the house more. I will be struggling to find myself - again. I will be driving and taking my dog on her last road trip. I will be finding myself again and sharing when I can. I will be as truthful as I can be with all of you, truthful about my daily magic and my struggles, the moments when my heart sings and the moments when my heart hurts. I will be coming back over the next few months and all the while, I will be trying to meet as many of you as I can. Let’s make a date to meet up. Share with your world me.