Embracing the Down Time
The lunar energies have had their impacts on me. I have gone quiet due to the Full Moons and Blue Moons occurring in these first few months of the New Year. They hit my chart and my energy hard. I am not sure I have ever gone thru as complete a transformation as this has been. Every single stone has been turned over, cleaned and returned to a new place. It has been both exhausting and exhilarating to the point where I am emotionally and spiritually raw.
As if dealing with the celestial power wasn’t enough, I am sorting through three decades worth of possessions, cleaning my childhood home and purging bags and bags and boxes of accumulated “things.” It’s a magical art; life-changing cleaning but also so much more. I am finding and waking up memories that explain decades of thoughts and feelings. I am processing not just my childhood but also adulthood. I am seeing threads of emotions surface in recollections from throughout my life. Feelings I thought had been erased or released are actually alive and acting out in new and modern ways. The losses of childhood and the desire for love are now shown to me in things like a rather large collection of antique handkerchiefs. At the time I did not realize why I was collecting these beautiful pieces of soft, floral fabric. But now, as I unpack the box where they have been for ten years and clean them, I know exactly what I was searching for in these objects. I also know it will never be there as I hoped. Not in the material objects nor in my emotional wound. I now know that I need to create these feelings in myself, with my close friends and to let go of a wound that is so deep and has directed so much of my adulthood. For the first time ever, I am ready to do all this and more. I may not give up the hankies yet. I believe they are magical items with good energy. But I am ready to let go of what has been holding me back. Everyday I am sorting through examples like these. I have never experienced a process like this before.
I’ve also gone quiet on social media and in my life. Part of this Full Moon in Virgo energy is concerned with health and our bodies. What do our bodies need to not just survive but also to thrive? I have a new way of living my life that requires a deep understanding of what I can and can’t do and knowing the wall is coming before it’s too late and I hit it. It’s a lot like being a baby again and learning how to interact with the world. My energy is limited so I must make choices about what I want to do and what I have the physical strength to do. Sometimes these two answers are not the same. There is a lot I want to do and there is smaller amount of what I can actually do. I need to learn this new way of living so I do not crash so hard next time. I now understand the importance of physical health and the need to cherish it.
In many ways, my new way of life is filled with Rituals. I work to fill every single moment with things I know I can physically and emotionally handle, the rest of things seem to be falling away. I want to see people in person more frequently, hear their voices in real time. I find myself wanting to send friends long emails written in a similar vain as handwritten letters. Moments of time sealed with thoughts of a loved one. I find myself cooking more meals, starting to think about my summer garden and walking the dog. All things I will never take for granted again. All part of the human experience if we slow down enough to realize it. I no longer want to move in such a fast pace that I miss out on seasons, growth and healing down time.
I’ve finally given into slowing down, to the realization that I need to listen to my body more, I need to take time for myself and heal. I’ve accepted the realization that sometimes the Universe has other plans and we need to face those challenges – it that’s what they feel like - with gratitude and love. I finally appreciate all the loss and change over the last few years and I can see how it’s gotten me to this place of deep healing and deep change. It has brought me to my metamorphosis.
I never used to be one for down time periods. I thrived off stress, projects, possibilities. But now, now I thrive from slow-cooked meals, walks where I can see the moon, hot baths or an afternoon spent with my baby nephew. I see myself healing, processing, letting go and finally finding my true self.
This down time and silence is bringing me back to Ritual Coaching. It’s bringing me back to a magical life where I find little signs everywhere. It’s bringing me back to a place where I can hear, see and feel magic in my life. It’s bringing me back to a place where I can share this magic with others. It’s bringing me back to Magic.
Ritual for Embracing Down Time
If there is a ritual intertwined in this piece, it’s that “down time” is a critical component of life in our hectic world and whatever you can do to slow down; be it turning off the gadgets, closing the door to your room, sitting and staring at a body of water or a mountain, or even the roofs of your neighbors, do it. Gather yourself to yourself.