Ritual for Trying Something New
This New Moon is in Capricorn and it feels like a neon sign blinking on the side of the road. It’s lighting up our journey with this one question – “What’s no longer working?”. Of course, because it’s Capricorn, it’s a softly glowing and a stylish sign. It’s asking this question in the most creative and grounded way. This week, we get to call in the answers. This week, we get to peek into the Universe and experience the other side. This week, we get to use Big Magic to help us answer this question, to see the places where we should be asking this question, so the Universe can help us find the answers. This week, we are being encouraged to try something new.
As some of you know, I have had health challenges for almost two years. It started out as me just feeling tired and uncomfortable and progressed into extreme exhaustion and needing to get two tumors removed from my body. I lost my job during this process and then made a grad school plan. I thought, I will be ok. Just time for a new direction. Then I kept getting worse after surgery. I realized my grad school plans were not going to be realistic due to the ongoing health issues. So I had to abandon that dream which was as hard on me as losing my job. I also had become too ill to write as much as I was over the last few years. At first I struggled to find the words, to tap into my creative energy. Then I struggled to write the words, and lately, I have just been too exhausted to write, or even to muster up the desire to write. There has been so much loss, illness and dreams not manifesting that all I could do was feel guilt. Guilt for not writing. Guilt for getting sick. Guilt over every bad decision I have ever made that could lead up to this illness.
Why didn’t I do better in school? Why couldn’t I have done better at that first corporate job? Why didn’t I stay in a relationship that might have offered me security? Why wasn’t I able to just settle in life? What was wrong with me?
It was crushing to be asking myself these questions while dealing with my health issues. But somewhere between the noise of cruel answers I gave myself, I started to the hear the voice of this New Moon and New Year. It started to change my questions, so I could find some healing answers to the circumstances around me: even though I was struggling with a spine injury that would forever change my life. Even though at the time, I had a partner who wanted me to leave my corporate job to go work at Target. Even though, I felt controlled and belittled. Even though my dreams include movement and travel.
I’m using the energy of this New Moon to truthfully answer these questions.
I’m much sicker than I have realized in my body and I don’t quite know how to balance self-care and the corporate worldI expect myself to be much more together than I am. And this is what’s no longer working.
My life – as it was - is no longer working and this New Moon is the perfect New Moon to set some new intentions in my life that take into account my desires and needs.
I need to put my health first. My body can no longer be ignored. I have been spending hours and money I do not have at doctor’s offices trying to figure out why I am so sick. It’s something I can no longer ignore. I’m not sure how I will pay all my bills but at least, I can try to feel better in this body of mine. I desire to give myself a break every once in a while. It’s been a hard ten years since my last big illness that left me bed ridden and scared to death. I worked at getting my life back, believing that a corporate job would make me better and prevent something that scary from ever happening again. I didn’t want to travel because it meant leaving my job. But, this also meant that I wasn’t feeding my soul or spirit. At the time I had some fun but nothing that radically changed my life. It was like I was sleep walking in a world of who I thought I should be. That world does not work for my body and it makes me ill to live that way. So now, I need to give myself a break and start answering the question of “What’s no longer working?” And my desire to answer this question is about to take me on a life-changing trip. I am using this New Moon to travel internationally for the first time in a very long while. I’m using this New Moon energy to leave my computer at home, travel as light as possible and go off the grid so I can find some answers. I’m using this energy to try something new. To search for new ways of living that allow me to live a more healthy existence. Body, Mind and Spirit.
What’s No Longer Working Ritual
Are you ready to start answering those hard questions with a little more empathy, a little more empowerment and a little more Magic? Right now I’m seeing this energy all over around me in people’s lives. Sprinkled Magic lighting up around me. I’m watching friends get poems published and taking writers retreats to feed their soul. I’m watching friends coming out of the grieving process with more strength that I have ever seen. I’m watching women adorning their bodies with art instead of hating how they look. I’m seeing women be empowered to change our world and realize we need to live a new way. I’m watching women healing from cancer and connecting more to themselves than ever before. I’m watching as old high school friends are coming back together and reminding each other of dreams they had forgotten. I’m seeing change inside and out of people and our culture. I’m seeing the old ways no longer working. Once you have released the old energy, start thinking of how to do things differently. What are one or two things you can do this New Moon to do things different? Write them down or better yet, get up and do them. Just do it! Try a new route to work, book that ticket out of the country, try the new gym class you have been thinking about. Just commit to doing things differently this New Moon. Especially when it comes to your business dreams and artistic dreams. What can you do differently to help change the world?
This New Moon is powerful. It sits between the two Full Moons of January. It wants us to call in our new dreams and to just go for them. Take small steps to do things differently. Open up to Magic.