Embracing our Flaws
Lately I have had debilitating writers block. The Rituals suddenly aren’t coming to me nor am I able to sit and search them out for transcription. This devastates me. I knew I needed a break, I just didn’t expect that one of the side effects of need for a break would be writers block.
Instead of an active, busy vacation what I really may have needed was some time to integrate all the changes happening in my life. I am preparing for surgery in the coming Fall after struggling for the last year to be healthy. My body needs help and surgery is now the last and only option. I also have realized over the last two years that working a ‘traditional’ job (okay, it was the video gaming industry, but still) is no longer something I can do. Everyday my body felt like it was on fire and I just wanted to sleep. So, I now venture into new territory. I left my job and I now have time to spend on healing and the next phase.
What I really needed this week is a week off. A week to do nothing but have fun. My last day of work was on the Summer Solstice and then I flew East. My wonderful, magical, friend Jen L. came out to the suburbs on the New Moon to sit and hold me. She found me even though I was trying to hide out and wanted not to be seen. She hugged me as I cried about all the endings that have been happening lately and she cheered me on as I told her my future plans and what I want to manifest next. She held me when I talked of the limitations my body suffers from and the fear I have that they are getting worse. She showed up just when I needed her. And we might have discussed a little magic- making event that will happen in Seattle. More details to come.
Then on the day of the New Moon, my mother, aunt and I drove to the beach. There are more than 50 cousins all around me this week; a lot of people for me (probably for many of you) but it is also a safe place. These are people that love me even, or when, I can’t love myself.
The culmination is that I am taking time to embrace my flaws; to laugh at the funny parts and to allow people to hold me when things get tender. I am speaking my future in a way I have not been able too until this week. I am gaining confidence in my next steps and I am allowing myself to just decompress.
Let’s just take some time this week to embrace our flaws. They make us uniquely who we are. Let’s laugh a little more this week. Let’s enjoy all the new beginnings and let go of what no longer needs to be here. And let’s work with bird magic this week. Can you live this week as if you are a bird watcher? Sitting in silence and noticing and the small details. Can you slow down this week to rest after these huge energy changes? Can you embrace your flaws and enjoy who you are becoming?