The Joys of Compatibility and Harmony
As I was driving on my writing adventure this week I began to think about compatibility and harmony and where they fit into my current and future life. I am not sure how old I was when I learned about the concept of compatibility – that two or more things are able to exist or occur together without conflict – or that compatibility with one’s environment, also called harmony, was even a plausible goal for a person’s life. This is not something taught in school or around the dinner table. No one tells us how our lives would be if we understood ourselves so clearly that we only moved towards things we are compatible with. As I pulled into my new favorite writing spot, a small diner right on the sound with giant bay windows, I called my aunt to chat with her about compatibility. Why don’t we talk about this more? My aunt suggested that maybe while we are younger we need to learn about incompatibility and disharmony before we know what we need to seek out.
I thought about all the milestones or accomplishments in my life that I moved toward because I thought I should, things that school, or my family thought I needed to do. I did them but felt no compatibility, nor connection with the goal. I thought about people I let into my life because I thought I needed them, but with whom there was ultimately no connection at all. I thought about my childhood in school where instead of focusing on what subjects were compatible with how my brain works, I was told I needed to just do better, learn in a different way or get over my weaknesses. This advice followed me into college and into my professional life.
Yet, if I think about where my strengths are today and I think about the circumstances in my life that might be compatible with who I am, I feel successful. I feel at peace. I feel happy. I am finally living a life that is very compatible with my heart and spirit. I have a job I adore where I get to focus on my strengths. I have people in my life that support my strengths and I have let go of people that disrupt my harmony. I have people in my life that admire and give me space to do what I need to do and aren’t frustrated that this doesn’t include them. If I step back, I realize that I want to live and sustain this life of harmony in all ways. I know my city is growing at a rapidly and quickly becoming incompatible with my desire to slow down and focus on my community. I know there are spaces where I want to learn more about myself better so I can seek out an live in that harmony.
This week we are going to have the space, the energy and excitement to start thinking about opening ourselves up to the compatible and harmonious around us. We get to have a little fun experimenting with what we need, who we are, what we like. What do you need to exist or live in harmony with yourself and others? Do you need more vacations? Do you need more Saturday adventures? Do you need a nap on the weekends? How about coffee with your partner where you both read the paper? Or maybe a fun day with your friends and their kids?
Let’s also use this time to experiment with creativity. Is it a relationship or a different job or a new house you would like to create? Maybe you would like a partner that can communicate with you and actually likes to talk? Or maybe you would like someone that reads as much as you so you wouldn’t have to feel guilty for wanting so much quiet time? If it’s a job you want, what would make this new job a harmonious place to be, what corporate values would be compatible with yours? Would it involve managing people and helping them grow or would you rather focus on projects? Maybe you want to work with children or elderly people because it’s compatible with your energy and spirit? For a new living situation, what’s the most peaceful and harmonious situation you can think of? Living with a partner? Living alone? Living with good friends? Do you want to live by the water? Or in the middle of a city so you never have to drive?
We all have dreams and hopes that are unique to who we are. Let’s start to explore and learn about them so we can keep moving towards that life full of compatibility and harmony.