Please bring me all the Hibiscus Tea
I feel like I am emerging from the first chemo infusion. I almost feeling normal again. I realized it was not just the chemo that had been causing me to struggle but also all the procedures leading up to the first infusion. But today, today I celebrate. I feel like I am coming out of the fog and I feel not too bad.
I woke up early and walked Ahmi. We are on a strange early to bed, early to rise program. It’s East Coast time for a West Coast girl. After walking ahmi, I was able do some chores which is a huge deal for me at the moment and now I am writing. It’s all mundane stuff but it’s the stuff I have been craving.
I keep thinking about Julia Louis Dreyfus and how important keeping her life, work and her comedy were for her. I am trying to adopt this approach as well. I am going to give my body what it needs but I also want to keep moving forward with my interests in life. I don’t want this experience to cause me to come to a screeching halt.
Balance is another thing I am thinking about. I will have about eight different days all within a day of my life. This means my energy will go up and drop numerous times over the course of the day depending on the medication. It’s a roller-coaster of all your senses. I can’t make any declarations because within an hour , I will say the exact opposite thing. So it all requires me to focus on balance. How can I feel better without tiring myself out? How can I keep calm so that I don’t exhaust myself with emotions?
All of this is to say, I think things are going pretty good considering everything. I feel good some moments, some moments I feel sick mostly I am just grateful to be alive and able to heal..