Today is the second infusion of a four infusion plan with what the cancer patients call “ The Red Devil”. It is one of the strongest chemo medications out there. I am calling it the red sunset instead because it sounds a little more relaxing that way. Though the red devil does kind of make me giggle when I say it. Such an old time description of something.
Yesterday I wanted to have a day where I did not worry or stress out about my next infusion so I packed my car up with my friend Chris and we drove up to Crista’s cabin in the woods. I laughed almost the whole day with Chris and Crista. We worked in her garden, sat on the deck, listened to vintage 80’s music and drank Kombucha. It was such a perfect day that all I could say to my friends was “ I just want everyday of my life to be like today”. Spending time outside with good friends and enjoying each others company. To me, that is a perfect day.
I woke up early today to prepare for a 10 hour day at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. I have various appointments and then a bit of a break before the second infusion. I have been preparing for this next round as much as I can over the last few days. Stocking up on small things to eat that are easy and bland. Cleaning my room and bathroom and everything that goes along with that. Seeing people before I disappear for about a week while the infusion does it magic. All of these little things will make the next week of my life so much easier.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about how Cancer has helped me to become so grateful in life. Every little action that someone does to help me is noticed and appreciated. This extends as far as a simple text or note from someone. These actions mean the world to me right now. I feel like I have a new lease on life in many ways. Though I do wish my brain would work a little better. I definitely now understand what they mean by “chemo brain”. It’s like a good chunk of my brain has gone on vacation. Simple things like figuring out what to leave for a tip is no longer something my brain can handle at the moment. But then I consider what a small thing that is to worry about and I let go. So my brain needs simple things at the moment, I think that’s okay considering what I am dealing with. I am giving myself permission to just be and I have never felt better.
Love to you all!