Dare I say that cancer has changed my life for the better?
I know I am still very early in the treatment for this condition and I might be singing a different tune as I go through treatment, but what I have learned over these last few weeks is, this condition has lead to me being happier. I am more joy filled and appreciate all these small things that I never thought about before this diagnosis.
Every call from a loved one, every trip to the farmers market with a friend is something to celebrate. I am more grateful and laugh more now than I ever have. No more time for holding onto pain, anger or sadness. I want to embrace all the goodness of life before it's too late.
Yes, I am scared and I am in pain and have to take care of my body. Every hug hurts but I wouldn't give them up for the world. I am choosing to embrace the fear of this diagnosis and to find the goodness out of it.
So here I am, newly diagnosed with cancer and ready to embrace the changes my body needs to beat this thing. With a smile on my face.
Tests results are arriving this week and I will be getting the port put in soon. The heart scan last week was clear and my lymph system still looks good. So only a few more steps until I start treatment.
I am going to a friends house today to cut all my hair off. I need the short hair to happen sooner than later. I do not want to lose my long hair due to chemo and it feels like it is a good rite of passage. I am sure tears will be shed because this condition is quickly becoming real but I also think it will be a good change. A fresh start to a healthier life.