It's been one week since I met my Cancer care team and two weeks since the diagnosis. It feels like the longest two weeks of my life and yet all of this feels totally....normal?
I can't believe I was on the east coast three weeks ago and four weeks ago I was at my family reunion.
I have never experienced a month like this before in my life.
There was good news at the meeting last week and bad news. The bad news first. I have cancer in both breasts. This was unexpected since the cancer was not showing up in my mammogram in the other breast. It has caused a bit of a delay in my treatment because we need to find out what kind of cancer the newly found tumor is. I had not expected this news and it feels slightly overwhelming. I agreed to the genetic testing because more and more we go down the cancer rabbit hole, it feels like genetics are playing a bigger part. Because of these unknown parts, I don't know what kind of surgery will be required or what chemo treatment I will need. I will learn more next week.
The good news that makes the bad news easier to deal with is, it appears to be stage one at this point. I have another ultrasound this Friday but from what the team saw, it has not reached my lymph system yet. It is a very aggressive form of cancer and I will need to go through chemo but it sounds like I caught it early and I will be able to manage it.
Every once in a while I stop and cry but for the most part, I am okay. I am still slightly in shock that this is happening to me. It turns out when you look young and healthy and you tell people that you have cancer, they get very emotional. I do have to remind people that I am older than I look but I can't explain the healthy part. I know I didn't care enough about my health at a younger age but the last few years I have changed all that and yet, it wasn't soon enough.
The only thing I feel like explains what is happening along with genetics, is inflammation and stress. My health has not always been super easy to do deal with but I always wanted to keep going and make life better. Now more important than ever. How can I relax more, learn to deal with my stress in a more constructive way? This is the question I will be asking myself often as I go through this experience.
While I wait for the rest of the tests to come in, I am focused on keeping my immune system strong and my stress levels low. My whole life is dedicated to appointments, healthy eating, keeping myself moving and resting when I need it. I have never loved or taken care of myself this much before. I know this whole experience will be a life pivot for me. How can I take care of myself and beat this situation to come out a better and healthier person? Join me as I learn to answer these questions.