I am so sorry about the delay in writing. Infusion 4 started out well and then took a turn earlier in the week. I got sick this week. It was the first illness I have had since starting chemo and let me tell you what, I have new found respect for anyone that is immune comprised.
What should have been a bug I could easily have gotten over and maybe not even gotten sick from, turned into a five day sickness that made life very uncomfortable.. I could feel how hard my body was trying to fight this bug and how little I had in terms of energy to fight it. I can’t imagine having to deal with Flu season every year. It was scary to realize how weak my body is and how careful I need to be to avoid getting sick again. Not having the ability to fight off germs is a hard way to live. I will not be getting the flu shot until next year so thank you to everyone that gets the flu shot this year!
I am finally feeling better and back to my cheerful self. I am still trying to live as normally as possible. Seeing friends, doing small errands, taking Ahmi for walks. Some days are better than others but through it all, I am still smiling.
Tomorrow I will be going to my friends log cabin to celebrate the end of the Red Devil chemo and the start of a lighter and easier chemo. I will still be bald but I should have more energy during the day. I am also starting to meet with doctors about my upcoming surgery. Slowly, we are working towards this healthier version of myself.
One thing I am grateful for is the chemo has allowed me to feel and experience food in a new way. I can better gauge how I feel after eating food than before chemo. I am in awe of this experience. Just like the compassion I have for immune compromised people, I now feel like I understand my relationship with food more. I know what foods help me to feel healthy and alive and I am learning what foods bring my body down and forces it to work harder. Throughout this process I am taking away the bad foods and replacing them with good ones. I can’t wait until I have the energy to be able to explore this relationship more and write about it.
All in all, it’s been a hard week but one that is still not as bad as it could have been. My chemo experience so far has not been terrible. My doctor even calls me her super star patient and my sister mentioned how healthy I look at the moment. I am always smiling when I see my doctor. She is helping to keep me alive I did get confirmation this week my tumors are officially responding to the chemo! This news gave me some relief and energy to keep moving forward.
Have a great week!